my aunt and uncle want to “talk” to me about some of my facebook posts (generally relating to my distaste for aramaic religions, particularly catholicism.) and how they “reflect” on the “family name” and the “business”
Well my opinion is FUCK THAT NOISE.
That’s it. I’m sick of all this “Masterwork Scourge” bullshit that’s going on in the d20 system right now. Bullwhips deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.
I should know what I’m talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine bullwhip in Cairo for 2,400,000 Egyptian Pounds (that’s about $20) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even knock free slabs of solid rock with my bullwhip.
Various smiths spend days working on a single bullwhip and braid it up to a million times to produce the finest whips known to mankind.
Bullwhips are thrice as keen as European whips and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a horsewhip can cut through, a bullwhip can cut through better. I’m pretty sure a bullwhip could easily really fucking injure a Kraut wearing a dubious disguise with a simple vertical slash.
Ever wonder why Nazi Germany never bothered conquering England? That’s right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined archeologists and their bullwhips of destruction. Even in The Last Crusade, Germans soldiers targeted the men with the bullwhips first because their killing power was feared and respected.
So what am I saying? Bullwhips are simply the best whips that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Bullwhips:
(One-Handed Exotic Weapon) 1d12 Damage 19-20 x4 Crit +2 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork
(While wearing a Fedora hat) 2d10 Damage 17-20 x4 Crit +5 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork
Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Bullwhips in real life, don’t you think?
borrowed from 1d4chan, a horrible place with some lovely articles .